


Love, pride, deep fried chicken.

by crazyfast



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Dan and Phil are so unbelieving in love, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Pride, Romance, Smut, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Tour Fic, bye, dan and phil in America, date, interactive introverts, its disgusting, its just a little bit of smut i guess, its just them thinking and loving each other and being stupid, they cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-05-30 16:21:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15100541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazyfast/pseuds/crazyfast
Summary: Dan and Phil go to America, and to the whole world, and through their minds, and on a date. Not necessarily in this order.(This is not a good summary. Maybe you should read.)





	Love, pride, deep fried chicken.

**Author's Note:**

> this is set in: june 24th 2018.

 

To travel around the world is not something regular people can do, although they should. The world should be free for everyone, like should be love. Free and traveling, different everywhere, unique experiences, intersectional and reachable for all people. That's something Dan thought about a lot.

He also thought about Phil.

Right now, going through New York, from his seat in the car, and maybe metaphorically, his seat in life, he was observing the never-sleeping city skyline, and Phil's lines beside the window.

As a never-sleeping guy, he gets it. It's easy. To be caught up in the sounds of your surroundings, the traffic, the thoughts, the things that goes too fast, it's easy.

Phil sleeps. He's that kind of person. The only thing that can win from him sometimes is some entertainment, otherwise, he lays down, he sleeps.

It's not that he doesn't worry. He does. The man worries almost as much as Dan does, he reckon. But just almost.

He has lines to prove it. All over his face. But that's correlated to his age; The more you grow, the more you worry. He's growing. He's getting old. 31 years, a whole life. Marked on his face as it moves, looking up and down through the window, in wander. Dan looks up and down in wander too; A man getting old, slowly, having lines to prove it.

He worries about that too.

But Dan thinks of Phil. And sometimes, tell him. And sometimes, let him now, somehow.

Dan takes his phone out and opens Instagram, deciding to take a Story of his train of thought; New York and Phil's skyline. People wouldn't know, some would suspect, and he hope some is Phil. As sometimes that's enough to let the other know that despite they worry, love is thinking about them. Dearly, carefully.

He's not allowed, but he leans into Phil anyways, and like he's the law himself, he opens his arms and let Dan in. And in he goes closing his eyes and wishing he would sleep, but being where he is and who he is, only ending up with a melody in his head to a lyrics that say that freedom is something they can never take away.

Phil's head touch his, and rests. Whenever Phil presses his head against Dan's, Dan thinks really hard about how much he loves him, and hope he figures so he doesn't have to say it out loud. Freedom finds a way, because everything gets all warm, and he thinks Phil knows.

But he looks up and Phil is asleep.

Dan looks to New York for, he doesn't know, the last time, and buries his face on Phil's shoulder again.

Time passed as he thought about the million stuff he should think about instead of sleeping.

He also thought about Phil.

He sleeps.

 

 ━━━━━━━ ⟡ ━━━━━━━

 

They have two hotel rooms.  
It happens sometimes, when their manager Marianne is not the one to book it.

Sometimes is better to sleep apart, sometimes is not. It's the same thing on their home.

But in their home they had made it all them, even when they are apart for a couple of hours in the dark. In their home they made it safe, secure environment to be together, for how many hours it may be, completely onto each other, shameless.

When they are together in a hotel room, they always have their guard up thinking maybe people will know. And it shouldn't be that terrifying, but it is.

Not as much as it was before though. Slowly, they have been letting some guards down, breaking some walls. Shyly, quietly, even if people say they are being very loud. And that they always have been.

He guess that, love can try, and it tries hardly because it has to, because it's dedicated to make it work, but it cannot be silenced, not ever. It will escape, make a little noise, a little dance, and some will see, eventually. Because love needs to be seen, to be felt.

And that's what happens between Dan and Phil and the world.

Phil is laying down on his bed, staring at the ceiling for long minutes now. It's kind of a okay ceiling. The rest of the room is okay too, he guess. The shower is very weird and small. The rest of the room have this weird vibe too, but it's okay. He would say 3 stars, because he is feeling generous today.

He is also feeling weird. And thoughtful. And clingy. He wishes Dan was there, that it was his room too. He wishes to call him so they can be together, but he waits for longer.

There's a window. He doesn't always have a window, so he's grateful. He decides to spend some time looking outside of it, even though there isn't much of Philadelphia to be seen, or much of anything. Just a street, a regular one. Not even pigeons.

He figures he might be feeling homesick. Even missing the dramatic pigeons they have back home.

They are so far away from it. it's gonna be months in another country, another world. Not having a safe, secure environment to lay down together, snuggle up, to cuddle into your love and that being the whole life.

But, even with worries and guards, they have done this before and are doing again. They will, eventually, snuggle up and rests, sleep together when they can, even if it's not so secure. They find their ways, because they are love.

And love, like pride and freedom, when you own them, it's yours. Simple like that. No matter in what way.

He thinks about how they've been talking for so long about coming out. And one day, even if not completely directly, it will happen. But for now, is not that just because it's 2018 and they are letting some walls down that they have to do it. People think that they are not happy like this, that they are not free and celebrating their pride, but it's their, they own it with their hearts, and since 2009 it have been like they are a young free nation, and like pride month is every month.

He feels for his community, of course it would be different if they were out, he could be doing so much for it, but one thing he have been learning through the years, is that your change of the world comes differently in synchronization with what you can do, what is possible for your life. And his and Dan's are their audience, the people they are meeting every day, and that have been on their computer screens making them company, bringing joy, hope and change, each one differently, specially, hard to believe. Lives that come every day to them and smiles and tell their stories and their thanks.

And not directly, Phil knows they have been changing some queer lives as well. So many come to them to say that they made them feel that they could be everything they are. And they know their community of viewers are mostly queer, helping each other to figure things out, to fell at a safe, secure environment. Sometimes the changes people have in the world are intertwined, connected.

But all these years with Dan, hiding, and not hiding anything at all, sometimes is stuck on his thoughts. He is a free celebrating man in a relationship, but he have to admit that sometimes hurts that a lot have to be left out of it.

Sometimes, browsing on the internet, sometimes having sex, sometimes cuddling in a secure environment, sometimes alone looking through a window to a regular Philadelphia street, he wants to shamelessly wave a pride flag around, running through the whole world holding love's hand, Dan, in this case. Because it's Phil's. He owns it.

He can do anything he wants with it, feel it in any way he wants, go anywhere. And if Dan wants to go too-which usually happens but Phil worries that it may change one day- then they are settled.

For now though, looking through his window to the regular Philadelphia street, he focus on the out of this time looking restaurant that he has been laying his eyes on, and wanting to celebrate pride, boldly wanting to hold love's hand, he has an idea.

 

━━━━━━━ ⟡ ━━━━━━━

 

Dan throw his bags in a side of the room, and still sleepy, throws himself at the bed. The mattress is not the finest, but his neck hurts from sleeping on Phil, and after a minute it gets quite good.

He close his eyes again, wishing to sleep once more. But he knows it isn't like that. He isn't like that. He is just tempted to go over and over on how much he can fail in America, in front of millions of cruel Americans and their eagles.

And there's no Phil now, just normal white pillows. Phil manages to be more comfortable and whiter than them.

So he sits up and look around. Normal hotel room, nothing really fancy. But it's nice and he has a window.

Sticking his face out of it, he fells a nice breeze hit him. He closes his eyes and for a brief moment he thinks “This is fine. It's gonna be fine.” the feeling may not last, but it's good when he can feel it.

When he open his eyes again he sees a couple on the pavement, holding hands. It shouldn't affect him in the way it does. It's probably the month, sometimes he feels like it's watching him, judging him and invalidating him for not celebrating enough, for hiding. It's also probably the spotlight, the vulnerability they find themselves in with their tour.

So he feels affected by the couple holding hands, wishing it was them, wishing it was them all along. All the years, all the times they went out. All the times they went out around the motherfucking world.

Just a hand tied to another, sweating. And sometimes it seems like it's the most exciting thing that could happen. Like that time they were younger and it was their first date. Their hands slipped into each other's, and Dan held it so strongly when he felt this foreign feeling all over his heart, a feeling he now know it's called pride.

It's not like he doesn't appreciate it, or celebrate it now, it's always a ongoing party and a thankful pray living his life side by Phil's. But, they don't really put their face out there to be slapped and feel that pride. He miss those moments, those moments when they would hold their hands together down the streets and make sure the person serving them in a restaurant knew they were on a date. It didn't lasted for long.

But it's their decision that they made, for their good. And for their good, they are taking steps back from it now.

They don't know when they gonna take the big step though. Yes, they are pressured about it, they always have been, but not from him, and not from Phil, so it's fine. It's theirs, they can take it on their own pace.

There is no lost years, but they still can make up for it.

But Dan feels that he can't make up for the times he abandoned his pride to be someone else, for the internet, and even in the safety of their own home. Those are the times Dan see staring at him. No matter how much he feel like he got over it, of how far his mind went on self-knowledge, discover and acceptance, he still feel that Dan staring at him and making his presence in 2018's Dan.

But he knows that the good part is bigger, that 2018 Dan is successfully building to be 2019 Dan, and then 2020 and then the followings. He knows it's always forward, always future, always something new for him to be himself and what he discovers himself to be.

Ghosts aren't alive, he is.

It's not that he always wants to be alive, but he is, so he is making the most of it, and making the most of it it's not those bulshit people usually say, making the most of it is living your life giving your available best to be true to yourself and to allow to be understood by yourself better.

Making the most of live is also, in his view, being someone to someone. And he's doing it, he doesn't know if it's for forever, but for now at least, he thinks that for forever he is trying, he is giving his available best. He is someone to millions of people, that watches him, loves him and look up to him. He is someone to Phil, that watches him, loves him and look up to him. So he thinks, that even if his mind come up with things, to make him sad or to keep him waked, he is pretty reasonable to keep sanity and keep himself alive.

For a day he can finally, going forward, go back to slip his hand into Phil's and unite their fingers, in public, like their life.

For all of the days he is being someone to someone. And growing, and doing better.

As he feels sleep kicking in again he thinks that for now though pride would be happily celebrated if he could sleep next to Phil.

But reaching for his phone to make the call, it starts ringing and it's him. "Classic Dan and Phil" he thinks.

"Hello mister." Dan says.

"Hi." Phil giggles.

"Missing me already?"

"So much." He pretends that he is annoyed. "Are you the love of my life or something?"

He has been and knowing he is for so long, his heart shouldn't skip a beat, but it does. "Funnily enough, i am, you called in the right number."

"Great!" He laughs, "Wanna go out?"

"No, i want to sleep." Dan yawns, "With you." He almost forgot.

"It's not even night yet."

"So what? You know what they say, rest because you'll have plenty of time to go out when you're dead."

Phil laughs, "It's not what they say! And no, i'm asking you out. To dinner. On a date."

"Oh, a official date?"

"Official and verified"

"Okay, i'm in."

"I'm picking you up in my Lamborghini in 1 hour."

Dan snorts, "You don't even know what a Lamborghini is."

"Italian food. Now shut up!" Phil hangs out and Dan is left alone again.

He stares at the street one last time, it looks more inviting now.

 

━━━━━━━ ⟡ ━━━━━━━

 

There's a knock on the door. Dan rushes to go put some perfume and to check his hair once again.

"C'mon Dan, it isn't possible that you're not ready yet."

"I am ready!" Says Dan, looking annoyed, opening the door.

But one look at Phil and Dan's face is another. Brighter, drowning, almost unbelieved, in love. He has been opening doors to meet this man floating in front of him for so long, his heart shouldn't skip a beat, but it does.

Phil, with his knew found confidence, new haircut, new aura. Phil, the same Phil, and even the old Phil, the one he held hands with, but so new, so fresh, so freeing, so almost unbelieving in love with himself; smiles and leans in, owning the world, or maybe, just Dan, the corridor and the hotel room.

"I think you look hot as well," Phil, the same Phil, and even the new Phil, knows Dan's face of old feelings and even new ones, like he knows the palm of Dan's hands. "But you're not wearing any shoes."

Dan looks down confused, "Damn it!"

 

━━━━━━━ ⟡ ━━━━━━━

 

"You know nothing about Philadelphia."

"Yeah..." Phil says.

"So where are you taking me?"

"Dinner, i told you."

"Christ." Dan sighs.

"It's actually really far, we'll have to walk a lot."

"Phiiiil." Dan whines.

The elevator stops and the doors open, "After you, mademoiselle." Phil says.

"You just hate walking in first." Dan rolls his eyes.

"Hey," Phil bumps his shoulder into Dan's "I'm making a effort to be romantic here!"

Dan giggles, "Why?"

"It doesn't have to have a why." Phil says as the are walking through the lobby.

"I know that, it's literally our life philosophy."

Phil laughs and stops, resting his eyes on Dan, and Dan looks back at him, resting his eyes on Phil for a while too. Mutual resting, another life philosophy.

"Why?" Dan shakes his head, smiling, trying again.

"We are in America!"

"So what?"

Phil returns to walking and opens the hotel door for Dan, who rushes to catch up with Phil. "Thank you, my gentleman." He says as he passes Phil by.

"There we go!" Phil exclaims in approval.

The night was finishing falling upon their heads, lost traces of sunset could still be seen in the sky, and it wasn't hot or cold, just the same nice breeze.

"So, where to?" Dan ask.

"Across the street..." Phil answer,  
"And forward."

For what it seemed 15 steps later, "Then we're here!"

Dan laughs, and he doesn't know exactly why but he laughs so much. And Phil laughs too.

"Here?" Dan says observing (maybe judging) the old restaurant that looked like it came straight from the 60's. He reckons that it's here since then.

"Is it that bad?" Phil ask uncertain.

"No, it's very..."

"American!"

"Yes! it's very American. That's the word." Dan giggles.

"It looks like something from the movies."

"It does. I-" Dan stares at the neon signs at it and smiles at Phil. "I quite like it."

They walk to the door, but Dan put his hands on it first and open it. Phil laughs.

It's exactly like what he imagined in the inside, and he still quite likes it. It has a lot of booths and those black and white floors. It has a nice red aesthetic going on.

Phil led them to one of the booths next to the window, one in the very end of the corridor.

"We've been surrounded for so many people lately." Phil says after they sit down.

"We are." Dan agrees.

"I like it."

Dan laughs, "I know. I like it too."

"Are you alright?"

"You ask me that every day, Phil."

"I didn't asked today."

It's true, he didn't. "I'm-" Dan tried to search for the answer, "weird, maybe."

"Maybe?" Phil laughed softly.

"Yeah."

"You look weird."

"Do I?" Dan asked genuinely concerned.

Phil smiles, "Never."

Dan looks relieved and continues "But i'm not feeling not alright. I'm alright." We are together. He complimented to his mind only. "And you?"

"I- I understand the feeling, and feel it too."

"Do you?"

"Yes. It's just, i don't know, we were just at home, but maybe, homesickness. Or a feeling that could be compared to that, that have the same energy."

"Maybe." Dan looks thoughtful.

They may not know the name of this energy, but they look at each other and they know about it, they know what it is. They recognize the feeling because from the tip of their foots, passing through their veins to the top of their heads they recognize each other, and it's not bad, it's not not alright, it's just weird: The source of it all it's love. It's all because of love. So they don't have to fear it, not at all.

"I-" Phil began to say but he was interrupted by the server.

"Did you guys already chose?" Said with America accent a cute young female looking person.

They both looked confused and looked at the menu in front of them which wasn't even touched.

"No." Dan said. "Sorry, give us some more minutes."

They start looking at the menu together, like they always do, and decided that they should get fried chicken and chips, but also burgers.

"That's just how to be American!" Phil says.

"We are VERY American right now, aren't we?"

"I'm just missing the pancakes." Phil makes a sad face.

"Who? Bob, Eliza and Evan?" Dan asks.

"No," Phil laughs "Real delicious pancakes. It's been hours since i am in America and still 0 pancakes in this mouth."

"You can have that for breakfast."

"But that's too long!" He complains.

One thing in the environment outside their bubble caches Phil's attention, it's the server that talked to them placing a candle in the table of the only other customer they have, also a couple. Maybe they didn't knew, or even suspect, that it was a also.

While looking at the situation Phil made eye contact with the server and made a sign to let them know that they were ready to order.

After they said it all to them, Phil made a unpredictable move. they were almost leaving when he called them back, and said:

"Hey, can you also get us one of those candles?" He pointed towards the other costumers table.

And he can see, in both of their eyes, Dan and the server, when he quickly look between them, the moment they realize that they are a couple.

"Sure." They say and leaves.

Phil looks at Dan and smiles, like it was always this simple. And Dan finds himself without words, standing armless in the middle of a war; One side his brain racing to fix this, and why this? And what the fuck were you thinking, Phil? The other side, taking his words away so he can't mess anything up. Or change. Or do a single thing against it. Just be a couple with love once again.

"Please tell me i didn't gave you 50 anxiety attacks at once?" Phil whispered hopeful.

"You did, you know you did!" It was true, Dan was spinning and his chest was exploding. Phil could see he looked sick.

"I-"

"Here you go!" Exclaimed the server coming back with the cute candle Phil asked for.

"Thank you!" Phil said smiling and Dan tried his best to do the same. He was almost there, but they left before it could happen.

"I'm sorry!" Phil said with his genuine sad face.

"It's not that i don't want it." Dan said quietly.

"I know." Phil soon answered because he get it, he recognize the feeling.

Dan shakes his head at the ground. They breathed for a while. Phil smiled at Dan, and this time, and for Phil, he didn't had to try to smile back, it just happens. Wild, great and in the size of the world. Or maybe just the restaurant.

Phil wanted to ask him if it wouldn't be enjoyable taking the risk a little bit bolder for at least one time, but Dan started talking about the candle scent and how it smelled like a candle he once had and a million other things as he kept smiling.

 

━━━━━━━ ⟡ ━━━━━━━

 

"That was delicious! But i'm so full, i can't even breath." Says Dan throwing his head back.

Phil growls, "Same. But you know what i could do?"

"Me? I hope not, i'm tired."

Phil laughs, "Maybe you can be my second desert, later, i could do some milkshake now."

"Milkshake?" Dan asks unbelieved, "Are you insane?"

"I was just looking at the other table and they have it so now i want it!"

"We are not in a competition with that couple, Phil."

"It's not the couple, they're gone, it’s just some kids."

Dan look around. He didn't even noticed the couple wasn't there anymore. He look behind him for the kids, three of masculine looking teens with their milkshakes and chips, laughing at the wind.

Dan smiles at the sight. "Will you want milkshake, Dan?"

"Obviously not, you crazy fork!" Dan answered turning back to face the server already there, he gets a little bit embarrassed and kinda blushed.

"Okay" Says Phil to the server "One chocolate milkshake, medium, with two straws!"

"With two what?" Dan says very rushed.

The server looks between them, awkwardly says that it will be ready soon and then leaves.

"With two what?" Dan repeats his question.

"Straws. Whenever i want something and you say you don't you end up eating mine anyway, so two straws. Like the movies!" Phil winks.

"Like the movies?"

"Yeah, those American dates! When the girl and the boy from high school goes out, eat burgers, share a milkshake, makes out in the car."

"We don't have a car." It's the only thing Dan says, he is looking a little bit scared.

"Duh, we're gay! Keep up!" and Phil takes a laugher out of Dan.

"Maybe if you want, we can go all Sandy and Danny Zuko, put the menu in front of us to hide!" Phil says with excitement, joking, like it's always this simply.

And Dan laughs, because he is, as always, as simply, defeated by love, and he got nothing to do other than laugh. Because it's exciting and funny, and Phil, and completely ridiculous and terrifying.

"Will i have to sing "Look at me i'm Sandra Dee" to you, chicken?"

"Hey!" Dan exclaims, "Despite this having nothing to do with this situation, you'll never have to sing that song to me!"

"You don't have to drink with me, and you know it, right?" Phil says seriously this time.

"Right. I know." He does. He also breathes and look around. The kids are still there, still laughing, chips gone.

"There's no one here, Dan." Phil says.

And Dan look around once again, he almost not even see the kids this time, just Dan and Phil's world, or maybe just the restaurant. But, even with the kids there, it's true, the place is empty.

"Isn't it enjoyable taking the risk a little bit bolder?"

Dan doesn't answer, but he stares at his thighs and timidly smiles.

And when the server comes back with their order, he looks at Phil with the cheekiest of smirks, he leans in with the most enjoyable and exciting glow in his eyes, and Phil knows is his key to lean in too, and they both take a gulp of the same milkshake together.

Phil puts the menu in front of them. Dan laughs almost spitting all over the table and put the menu down.

And it tasted like freedom.

 

━━━━━━━ ⟡ ━━━━━━━

 

The night was fully down by the time they left the restaurant. The streetlights and the moon were shining bright and this time the breeze was cold.

Almost like the restaurant, there wasn't many people in that particular regular Philadelphia street. And everything was so quiet you could only hear footsteps.

Dan leans more into Phil making their shoulders touch and staying there. He wishes he was wearing a coat.

"So, we are in America, the land of the free and the home of the brave!" Phil says suddenly.

"It's true, we are!" Dan chuckles.

"Did you know..."

"I honestly don't."

He laughs and continues, "Did you know that it was here in Philly that they signed the declaration of independence of the USA?"

"See, i told you i didn't! But wow, that's pretty-" But Dan was interrupted, by the suddenness of a even bigger event that he also knew nothing about; Phil hands in fast motion grabbing his hands, slipping their fingers intertwined, freely, in seconds taking him all the way down since Philadelphia through all around the motherfucking world. Or maybe just the places they already been to.

Their guards may still be there, but that moment they both realize that no matter where they are and what they do, they make it all them.

"Cool." Shocked, blushing, pushing pride into his heart, he grabs tightly Phil's hand back.

They walk slowly all the way back to the Hotel. It was not cold anymore, with their hands tied, sweating, holding each other to earth.

 

━━━━━━━ ⟡ ━━━━━━━

 

Dan's room being the closest, without even a worded agreement, they end up there. Dan opens the door with one hand, and never leaves Phil with the other.

He walks in first, Phil closes the door with his back, and with the hand that never leaves Dan and one hand in his shirt, drags him into his body.

They kiss so sweetly they could rot their teeth, because that's how their love is. And because they could still taste a little bit of the fading chocolate milkshake.

They kiss for so long they could get old, and they hope that's what will happen.

Phil's hand that was casually resting in Dan's bum goes up to his back, under his shirt, and holds there. And with the help of the other hand, the hand that never leaves Dan, pushes him, guiding him to his bed.

They fall down there, intertwined, never leaving. Body, legs, hands, mouths still attached to each other's.

Dan takes hold of Phil's hair and pulls fiercely wanting something to hold. They kiss so deep they find treasures. But they get out of breath and emerges in the surface gasping for air. Noses and mouths brushing.

Phil falls into Dan and snuggle his face into his neck. The man underneath him giggles and breathes even heavier. Dan's hands finds Phil's hair again and he run his fingers through it.

"Did you liked our date even if just a little bit?" Phil asks.

Dan laughs, "Phil! I loved it!"

"Oh, do you?" Phil places a kiss on his neck.

"Yes!" Dan whispers. "I wanted to hit you for making my heart jump so fast, but you always do anyway. In the end, i always love it."

Phil kisses Dan neck once more and then lift his head to look at him, "And during?"

"I loved it too." Dan's mouth says to Phil's, and they kiss. Rougher this time, stronger, desperate. High and hot. They kiss so hot they could burn.

Their flames consuming, vivid, hypnotizing and intoxicating. They've been doing this for so long and so much, they shouldn't lose their minds, but they do.

They do every time, over and over, when Phil gets back to kissing Dan's neck, when he bites and kiss again, and do over and over.

It's not enough to leave a mark but it's enough for both of them.

And their little make out was not enough to make them hard yet, but there was a slight bulge on their pants and they could feel it. Phil makes a pressure down with his dick, grinding into Dan, who got a moan stuck in his throat.

Phil sits up and help Dan do the same, taking his shirt off and gently pushing him back down. Dan lays with his exposed torso and Phil can't help with the view. "You're just the prettiest." He let Dan know.

"The prettiest." He repeats attaching his mouth to Dan's left nipple and sucking. He stays there for a while and Dan moans divinely through the whole time. Phil passes to the right nipple doing the same, sucking, mouthing, biting, but keeping his thumb running over the left one. After feeling how hard Dan was getting only by that he stops, placing one last kiss in both of it, and whispering "The prettiest."

Dan already looked a long gone wreck, dazed eyes and thoughts. Red all over, glowing in the dark. The moonlight that comes through the window to join them baths Dan with shine, blesses Phil with the sight.

"Can you help me take this off, baby?" Phil asks undoing Dan's jeans. And in two seconds everything's gone, Phil's mouth is already on Dan's length and Dan is arching his back.

Phil licked slowly from his balls to the tip, and placed a loving little kiss at it. He bobs his head further down taking all of Dan, taking hold on how much he loved Dan's flavor. It tasted like freedom.

After a while, Phil take his mouth away from Dan's cock and just stares at him. From that angle, and from any angle ever, any time, any day, forever, Dan looks absolutely everything. Everything good in the world. Everything sweet. Everything delicious. And impossible, but breathing right in front of him, lustful eyes staring down at Phil like he's everything too, telepathically whispering in Phil's ear to do everything.

But Phil just stares more, biting his lips and drooling, making Dan whines. Some would say sinfully, but that word is never spoken by the both of them in a non jokingly manner, because his boyfriend is not a sin, what they do is not a sin. And there's no such thing as that, just life and nature and art. It's real and literature. And every things Dan is heavenly. Is a God, that he doesn't believes in, best work. The best demonstration of His wanders. The gospel right there in the name of his lover. Is He, Himself, on earth, spread out on that bed, hands upon his head, whining "Please, daddy?”

But Phil is in control, and what he wants is to worship Dan's body. He replaces himself in Dan's feet, kissing it.

Dan looks at him so attentively, like he's the best entertainment, and Phil knows he is.

He kiss his ankles and heels and kiss all the way up, a kiss per time, to his thighs. Nibbling, sucking, circulating with his tongue, marking gently and harsh love-bites. Carefully, thinking he is building a church.

While Dan from his spot in bed can't even understand the fact that he is looking down at Phil, he thinks is always up. Phil is always up, with his fainting aura. Watching over him. Doing His work on him. Making Dan devoted and deliriously, thinking he is using Dan's body as a instrument to write down His miracles. Thinking He's writing the bible.

But Phil thinks Dan is all of the Gods and Dan also thinks Phil is all of the heroes, and their sex is Homero writing an epic poem.

And more than it, it's just them. Simple like that. So normal and humane. But not sinful, or a mistake, or wrong.

And Dan thinks God would never look down to humanity in the way Phil looks down to Dan's thighs admiring his work.

Phil stands his hands for dan to reach, and when he does Phil kisses his fingertips, one by one, each hand. And his palm, and down his arms.

He pulls Dan up to him, who takes Phil's shirt off. They connect their torsos and breathe into each other's mouths. Phil bites Dan chin at the same time he lifts their arms, with their hands tied together by their fingers, up their heads.

And Phil makes them fall back to bed. He grinds into Dan one more time making him moan and struggling say "The lube is in the drawer."

"Oh thank God." Phil says letting go of Dan's hands to reach for the drawer. "I thought i would have to ruin it all by having to search for it in your messy bag."

"Hey! It's not messy! Look who is speaking, yours is the literal hell."

"Watch how you speak to daddy!"

"Fuck off!" Dan says softly, laughing and Phil slaps his thighs, hard but playful, making Dan moan.

Phil picks the lube and look at Dan with a smirk, "You sneaky little bitch." He shakes his head.

"You know i am." Dan says smirking too and eyes glowing with pride.

Phil stands up and strips as fast as he can and get back to Dan, pushing his legs up. He cover his fingers with lube and look at Dan, who nods. He starts with one but easily gets on two, stretching him open gently but fast, scissoring and curling them, making Dan ask for more. But Phil replaces it with his dick, carefully, carefully pushing it in. And so soon he already can move, pounding slowly into Dan, who sings his pleasure so prettily to Phil.

Phil holds with one hand on both of Dan's hands that were still quietly up his head and starts a harder rhythm, that makes the bed bounce, Dan's eyes roll back and keep his back arched.

They start kissing again, messy and perfect, and everything is too much. Phil manages to replace his hands to Dan's back, smoothly lifting him up to Phil, who is sat on his knees, his body and hands being Dan's only support.

Dan's hands are in Phil's hair and he is thankful that Phil loves when he messes it. Phil groans and Dan moans into the heated kiss that never breaks. Phil keep thrusting up hard and Dan fucks himself on Phil, together hitting Dan's prostate, making him cry out loud. So damn loud.

Dan loves screaming while Phil fucks him. When they are not having sex Dan thinks he has a million things to say to the world, clever things that he thought about without any help. That stands with him as a individual. But when Phil is buried so good and deep on him, his moans are the only thing he wants the whole world to hear.

And Dan believes he is doing his mission flawlessly while Phil does his as well; Even if now in a slower pace, keep forever hitting Dan's sweet spot, lovingly ruthless. It's what they know how to dance. It's what Dan lives for, as much as Phil lives for Dan's noises.

They move unbelievably rhythmically made for each other.

Phil is no pintor but he tries to paint the picture in his head. They making love like this, must be so beautiful, so artistic and mesmerizing. Must speak to so many people. The moonlight that comes through the window would bless the pintor with the sight. But Phil can only imagine. And feel.

And release everything that for Dan he cares with him, deep into his love. The action driving Dan insane and making him follow Phil, cumming all over both of their chests.

They pant in each other's mouth for some seconds, trying to come back from their high states, which seemed impossible at that moment. They slowly fall into bed, still glued together.

And in those moments, they cannot care about anything that might come as gross. They think that the most important thing is to hold into your love, to make sure everything is real and despite over, ongoing, and completely made with love, even if they know that already, even if they've been knowing for 8 years. Starting with their first time, when Dan thought Phil was letting go of him. He hugged and wrapped him with love and never stopped doing so.

Phil trace two fingers through Dan's cum in his chest and licks one, "Hmmm, the milkshake was amazing but this desert-" He licks the other "mind-blowing."

"Cause it was especially and specifically made for you." Dan says in a small but sexy voice, with a smirk.

And Phil just smirk back licking more of it, now directly from Dan's chest, passing a tongue on the little bit of it that got caught in his left nipple.

"Can i prove it?" Dan ask and Phil covers two fingers with a generous amount of cum again and gently pushes it into Dan's mouth, who sucks it, slowly and eagerly, never breaking eye contact with Phil.

If Phil wasn't 31 years old, he could go for round two. But they are both getting old.

So instead, he just kisses Dan's nose and forehead, and gets a forehead kiss back.

It's his relative to being the man on the moon, but not for the first time, no, for a million times already, because he fell in love with it. Looking out around him thinking "Man, this is never getting old." and craving a pride flag to the grey ground.

 

━━━━━━━ ⟡ ━━━━━━━

 

They try their hardest to take a shower together, it's small and they are snuggle up. And they try their hardest to not water their hair. They don't succeed perfectly, but they kiss each other, wash each other and make each other laugh and they think that at least they are succeeding in life.

Phil dries Dan off first. He loved this part about taking showers with Dan the most, and sometimes even without him but just being there to moral support when Dan needs, when he's down enough to forget or not to care to take showers, Phil is there to sit on the toilet and talk to him about stupid things and to dry him with care when he's done, and that's his favorite part because Phil loves him and loves his well-being, and he's ticklish and giggles through the whole time like a little kid.

He puts the towel around Dan's head, covering it all, and shaking it to dries his hair, who laughs and softly whines Phil's name for him to stop, and Phil slide the towel down to meet a very cute messy hair boy with the most endearing of smiles, which makes Phil's heart laugh with adoration and silliness, his tongue poking between his teeth. And Dan makes fun of him for it, but it's everyone's knowledge that he is a fool for it.

 

━━━━━━━ ⟡ ━━━━━━━

 

There's an old fashioned radio on the bed table and Dan turns on. It's set in a random American station, and he takes a while to recognize the song that is playing, it's "Take my breath away" by Berlin. He turns his head around and sees Phil who was clumsily sliding one of Dan's pyjamas pants on and had already started singing.

He makes his way to him and stands his hands, Phil grabs it and pulls Dan close in a fast movement which almost makes them both to fall, but they manage not to and only to giggle.

They start to dance, if they can call it that. It's not even a slow dance, it's just them making each other spin around, and them stepping on each other's feet. It's just them singing the wrong lyrics a little bit too loud, and it's ridiculous. And probably a crime, but if only for today, they are unafraid.

Although the stop for a moment and everything slows. They glue their foreheads together, Dan arms around Phil's neck and Phil's around Dan's waist, and they swing their bodies as one so quietly you almost cannot see. It's almost a dance. And they are almost not breathing, but Phil thinks Dan's breath smells nice, and he wants to kiss him but he feels like he kissed him a lot today. And Dan almost misses how they can relate to the lyrics.

Phil is moving backwards and Dan forward, supposedly following a melody. Phil goes in for the kiss he wanted, but Dan had other plans, and Phil always tell him that it's better to him not come up with plans but he always does; This time was grabbing Phil by the hips, a arm around it supporting his back, and his body weight try to hold Phil down, a attempt to perform a dip.

But they were too close to the window where Phil somehow ended up with almost half of his torso out of it, hitting his back and almost falling.

A cry of pain and after Phil opened his eyes to a better understanding of the situation, they both just looked genuinely shocked for a while.

"I did said, a lot of times, i would die for you." Phil breaths out.

"You did." Dan sighs, "It's all your fault."  
And he help Phil out.

He pulls an armchair, that was in the side of the room, underneath the window and pulls Phil to his lap. The street is practically a ghost town now, and some buildings makes everything looks brilliant.

"I have a window too." Phil says.

"Cool." Dan answers.

"A normal one."

"Nice!"

"I like windows."

"I know."

"I'm not feeling homesick anymore." Phil says.

"I am." Dan says almost too quiet.

"Me too." Phil admits quickly.

Dan laughs, "It's fine." He rests his head on Phil's arm. "We didn't forgot to pack each other."

"Yeah...we're settled." Phil smiles and relax against Dan's body, "America!" he says, pretending he's raising a glass.

"Fuck them!" Dan pretends back, and Phil takes a shot from his imaginary cup, and returns to look out at the window.

Right now, Dan thinks that, almost certainly, metaphorically, his seat in life is he and Phil snuggled up together, free and traveling, individuals but completely onto each other, shameless. Even if, metaphorically, only in their minds. Or even if somebody else can tell. Owning stages, of life and people. Making a home all around the world.

And eventually sleeping.

"Hey, Phil!" Dan calls and Phil turns to look at him again. His face still has signs of worries, it's not that kind of thing that goes away one day. But Dan knows they are the happiest armchair alive right now. Or at least, just at Philadelphia.

But they still have a lot of places to go.

"Happy pride!" Dan says.

**Author's Note:**

> hello!! you unblocked a new achievement: you made till the end!! thank you for reading. 
> 
> pride month is over, but pride month is every month, be proud today! be proud all day long, alright? 
> 
> <3 leave me validation via a kudo or a comment, if so you wish. 
> 
>  
> 
> see you a next story, maybe! x


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